Lessons in Self-Care for Altruistic People
When we have an altruistic nature and give a lot to others, it’s important to make sure we're giving the same love and care to ourselves. When we forget to value our own needs, we can begin to give too much to others and cut ourselves short of all the good things we deserve as well!
When you have a giving or empathetic nature it can feel as though your own needs and desires don’t matter as much as the people you give to. Don't believe those thoughts - they're selling you short. You can be a wonderfully loving and caring person and still get the love and care that you need.
If this resonates with you, read on for more about self-love, speaking your truth and nurturing your relationship with yourself.
Love yourself enough to know that your needs and desires are equally as important as others’. Sometimes we care about others so much that we think their happiness is all that matters, and end up forgetting to love ourselves. The truth is, when we feel happy and loved from within we actually have a lot more to give to others!
We improve our lives when we are tapped in to self-love and have our own needs met. This allows us to give to others from a place of abundance. By cultivating self-love you will feel more fulfilled and loved from within, and will also open yourself up to receiving more love from others.
In life, the more you have the more you can give. So, the more happiness, love and fulfilment you experience in your own life, the more free you will feel to give to those you love and to the world. Giving becomes much more fun when we are fulfilled and loved within ourselves first, so make self-love your highest priority!
Speak & honour your truth
Speaking honestly about how you feel and what you need is one of the most important things we can do. By telling others what you need, you give them the chance to give it to you. As human beings, it’s important for our health and happiness to express our feelings, desires and needs and to have them fulfilled. Allowing yourself the freedom of self expression leads to more authentic relationships, as well as greater self-worth.
Sometimes we avoid speaking our truth because we don’t want to hurt others, blame them or cause any disharmony.
But speaking your truth can always come from a loving and open space. You show love to the other person by being honest and open, giving you both the chance to grow and understand each other better.
Learning to say "no" could be the greatest gift you ever give yourself. For many of us it's the hardest things for us to do, which makes it even more important! When we want to please others and create harmony we can have a hard time saying ‘no' to others, even when we want to deep down. But trust me, it's so important for cultivating healthy relationships and positive self-esteem.
When you say ‘yes’ to things you don’t want to you’re sending the message that what you want doesn’t matter. After too long of this, you may begin to believe it and so will the people around you! Give yourself permission to say 'no.' That way you become more aligned with what you really want and give others the chance to respect your choice.
If you're a person who says 'yes' most the time it may feel extremely difficult to start saying ‘no’, especially to people you really care about or who you’ve been giving to for a long time. Let go of any guilt you feel, because by standing in your truth you're giving them permission to do the same.
When we give to others above ourselves it's easy to become detached from our own needs. By being too focused on others, we can end up having a hard time even knowing what we want (and sometimes even how we feel), let alone expressing it.
If you have a hard time knowing what you want, or you’re not sure what your truth is, then it’s time to start getting to know yourself better! Throughout the day, take particular notice to your inner reactions to things. Rather than accepting the things you're doing, ask yourself why you're doing them. This can help build your relationship with yourself by understanding your deeper motives, beliefs and feelings.
Check in with yourself often. When you agree to do something for someone, ask yourself whether you were making an empowered choice - genuinely weighing up whether or not you were prepared to do it and giving an honest answer - or whether you automatically agreed because of deep-seated beliefs about pleasing others.
Once you actively start observing yourself, you will gradually become more and more in tune with your true emotions, needs and wants. Once you've got a handle on that you can start applying it with the steps above.
Your relationship with yourself will flourish when you put the time into finding out what really makes you tick.You may be surprised by what you find - likes, dislikes, passions, fears and everything in between. Once you know yourself, you're able to accept and love yourself for who you are. By being open and accepting of all (and I mean all) parts of yourself, you stay in a place of acceptance and love (as opposed to fear, self-doubt or shame). From that place you are capable of improving and changing in any way you see fit.
I encourage you to nurture your relationship with yourself and accept all parts of you - the good, the bad and the quirky!
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” - Lucille Ball